not in the mood.
Wednesday, I can't believe its already wednesday...I can't believe half the break has gone by already.
-Im loosing time.
-Im loosing time.
I guess everyone is going to frimis tonight. Im not, I'm not in such a party mood, therefore I wont be attending the party tonight, because I know it will just be a waste of "fake energy", and I need that energy for school.
So I guess i'l be sitting home with a bag of chips flippin through the TV..-" aaah the joy.. "
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So I guess i'l be sitting home with a bag of chips flippin through the TV..-" aaah the joy.. "
I woke up today with a MAJOR tooth-ache, Damn wisdome tooth is growing to fast, it hurts like a Motherf*cker. I have had a bowl of noodles today, I feel discusting.
So my mom finally called the doctor on me,{ Damit!}, Why the hell does she even care?, I bet she wants me to get better so she can use me more, make me do more slave-work around the house.
-What if I don't want to get better..? What if feeling like like everything around me is draining my energy, like simple things dont seem to stick to my memory, like one single word to much can make me have an outburst, what if I like to feel that way?
- Who am i kidding?
-What if I don't want to get better..? What if feeling like like everything around me is draining my energy, like simple things dont seem to stick to my memory, like one single word to much can make me have an outburst, what if I like to feel that way?
- Who am i kidding?
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Harder and harder for each day that goes by,
wishing she could just run away and hide,
sick of her everyday-living in a lie,
this isn't her, this is not how she's supose to die,
feels like she's living behind a wall,
cant see clearly, afraid she's gonna fall,
for how long further does she have to live these ways,
she's just haning in, expecting better days.©
Well this has been interesting,...NOT.
mood swings
I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!, AAAAAAAHHHH I HOPE YOU GET RUN OVER BY THE BUS!. STUPID FUCK!.
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Been on the verge of crying the whole day,I dont even know why.
Im such a fucked upp mess.
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Been on the verge of crying the whole day,
Im such a fucked upp mess.
My mom told me to come with her to the grocery store today. Probebly because she felt sorry for me because i was sitting home all day. Or becaues she needed money from me, eitherway..they both suck.
she wants me to go see a doctor about my, situtation.
she wants me to go see a doctor about my, situtation.
- Constant tiredness,
-Loosing memory,
-Moodswings,
-( well there is alot more that she just doen't know about)
-Loosing memory,
-Moodswings,
-( well there is alot more that she just doen't know about)
Well i made the decision, Im filling my days with something to do...and they are not gonna be with you..
Because i know i will regret waisting my days at the end of the week, there fore i have to do ANYTHING.except that one thing.
Because i know i will regret waisting my days at the end of the week, there fore i have to do ANYTHING.
Is it wierd that i can go days without eating, and then all of the sudden i eat a whole cake?....I dont think so. ..But my mom does.
Well this has been uncomfertably unecessary.
Well this has been uncomfertably unecessary.
Something New
A typical sunday, slow and uncomfortable?
Not really, I was at Sara's house for dinner. I dont like it when people make me eat..but i ate anyways.
*Things are better now, so i dont have to worry about that anymore.
One week of no school, it feels really good! I think this is something I really need, I need to rest my head and my body. since I haven't been feeling well latley.
Not really, I was at Sara's house for dinner.
*Things are better now, so i dont have to worry about that anymore.
One week of no school, it feels really good! I think this is something I really need, I need to rest my head and my body. since I haven't been feeling well latley.
I still feel so wierd, I cant really explane it. Like im about to fall into this black whole, and there is no way out.
Im not the same person i used to be
Atleast not inside.
Atleast not inside.
I keep thinking about it, am i really leaving december 27th 2007? is that really the day i will finally truely be happy?....or is it just something my parents tell me to keep my hopes up?. I dont know, im to scared to get my hopes up, but at the same time....Its the only thing that is keeping me going. Making me deal with all this shit, just so one day i can finally sit on that plane and be gone....
I really feel like i need summer right now. Its the only thing on my mind. SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER. warm weather, freedom, fun, no care in the world....it all sounds so good.
I guess thats it for today.
"And I Find It Kind Of Funny, I Find It Kind Of Sad, The Dreams In Which I'm Dying, Are The Best I've Ever Had"
I guess thats it for today.
"And I Find It Kind Of Funny, I Find It Kind Of Sad, The Dreams In Which I'm Dying, Are The Best I've Ever Had"
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