Goodmorning Sweden
After requests from my dear ayaan and nema, i will finally write a new entry. I cant say no to you girls ;)
So its about 6 am. and i have been up for 12 hours which means i woke up at 6 pm last night. I have complitely flipped my sleeping schedual. Thats what you get from spending 3 nights at chris' place with your laptop, playing games all night long and sleeping all day.
I would stay up to flip it back again, but its new years today and i dont want to be tired! so i'll probebly get as much sleep as possible.
Todays schedual
* being woken up to celebrate sabinas birthday with breakfast in bed. aproxemetly around 9-10 am.
* Going back to sleep
* waking up to call chris at 1 pm
* going to town to meet him and johan to buy alcohol at 2 pm
* going back to sleep
* and then finally waking up at 5 to shower and get ready for a wild night out!
So how was my christmas?
I hate christmas, Only for the fact thats the one occasion where my whole family gets together. And God knows, our family whould NOT be together. The morning started with fighting and arguing and crying and yelling. Thank God we always go for christmas dinner at our Godparents house in Karlstad, where we atleast get to pretend to be a normal family. That part of christmas was nice. However once we got home it was the regular fighting and arguing and yelling and crying again. Untill one of the family member went a way. my brother. Now dont get me wrong, this isnt my brothers faulth, it could have been anyone that left, and things would calm down again. The fact is we CAN NOT be all 4 of us under the same roof.
2008 Is going to me a redemption year, im taking back everything that ive lost, and renewing all that is bad. and changing all that needs to be changes and finding new experiences.
So its about 6 am. and i have been up for 12 hours which means i woke up at 6 pm last night. I have complitely flipped my sleeping schedual. Thats what you get from spending 3 nights at chris' place with your laptop, playing games all night long and sleeping all day.
I would stay up to flip it back again, but its new years today and i dont want to be tired! so i'll probebly get as much sleep as possible.
Todays schedual
* being woken up to celebrate sabinas birthday with breakfast in bed. aproxemetly around 9-10 am.
* Going back to sleep
* waking up to call chris at 1 pm
* going to town to meet him and johan to buy alcohol at 2 pm
* going back to sleep
* and then finally waking up at 5 to shower and get ready for a wild night out!
So how was my christmas?
I hate christmas, Only for the fact thats the one occasion where my whole family gets together. And God knows, our family whould NOT be together. The morning started with fighting and arguing and crying and yelling. Thank God we always go for christmas dinner at our Godparents house in Karlstad, where we atleast get to pretend to be a normal family. That part of christmas was nice. However once we got home it was the regular fighting and arguing and yelling and crying again. Untill one of the family member went a way. my brother. Now dont get me wrong, this isnt my brothers faulth, it could have been anyone that left, and things would calm down again. The fact is we CAN NOT be all 4 of us under the same roof.
2008 Is going to me a redemption year, im taking back everything that ive lost, and renewing all that is bad. and changing all that needs to be changes and finding new experiences.
Another Sleepless Night
Today was one of those days that twilight between being productive but not feeling productive enough to be proud of yourself.
Started off by going to my doctors apointment, to talk about my stomach problems. Now let me tell you, i dont know if it was an act just because i was a young person or if she really was like that. Eitherway, i did NOT like her attitude! she was so cocky! and talked to me like we were buddies or something! i got really annoid!. Anyways, so they took some blood tests to see if i was allergic to gluten, and other stuff. But she said that i was lactose intolerant. I feel sorry for people that invite me over for dinner or something, first i dont eat meat and chicken and now i cant eat dairy, im just gonna hide in my room from now on. Oh and the woman that took my blood test sucked! im so used to getting a needle in my arm so i dont really feel anything anymore, but she made it relly hurt! and then when she took it out it hurt even more! and then i got a little bruse from the needle. ive never gotten a bruse before!. ugh. I also got a perscription for calcium oxide supplement ( kalk tabletter) since i dont drink milk, and havent for several years. and also some powder im supose to spread over my food, but i will probebly forget.
Then i came home, for like 5 min and then i had some stuff to do at home, ( nilo you know what im talking about). and for all other people, let me just say that somehow ive become "the go to-person" in this house. so i hear everyday, several times a day, " sarina do this", "sarina can you do that", "sarina help with this", "sarina write this," Its rediculous! Then i went to town and bought chris his x-mas present, and went and got my perscriptions. Oh and i checked my fonds, and got a telephone bank thingy, and signed up to get a visa card. Now that im going to San Diego this summer.
When i finally got home for real, i got a dredfull letter from CSN saying that since ive been skipping my distans class ( that i only signed up to so i could get 400 points, so i could get studiebidrag), since november, they can demand the money back. which will be like 2100 kr. WTF? why do they have to care if i skip a class that im going to take off my grades anyways because i'll have to many points! Ugh now where the hell am i supose to get THAT money? and there is no way im telling my parents, they wont understand, all they are going to register in their brain is " sarina skipped her class" ugh, i dunno..we'll see how it goes.
anyways i still cant sleep so.... here is a song..
nvm i dont know how to add youtube videos on here, so if some one knows, please tell me.
Started off by going to my doctors apointment, to talk about my stomach problems. Now let me tell you, i dont know if it was an act just because i was a young person or if she really was like that. Eitherway, i did NOT like her attitude! she was so cocky! and talked to me like we were buddies or something! i got really annoid!. Anyways, so they took some blood tests to see if i was allergic to gluten, and other stuff. But she said that i was lactose intolerant. I feel sorry for people that invite me over for dinner or something, first i dont eat meat and chicken and now i cant eat dairy, im just gonna hide in my room from now on. Oh and the woman that took my blood test sucked! im so used to getting a needle in my arm so i dont really feel anything anymore, but she made it relly hurt! and then when she took it out it hurt even more! and then i got a little bruse from the needle. ive never gotten a bruse before!. ugh. I also got a perscription for calcium oxide supplement ( kalk tabletter) since i dont drink milk, and havent for several years. and also some powder im supose to spread over my food, but i will probebly forget.
Then i came home, for like 5 min and then i had some stuff to do at home, ( nilo you know what im talking about). and for all other people, let me just say that somehow ive become "the go to-person" in this house. so i hear everyday, several times a day, " sarina do this", "sarina can you do that", "sarina help with this", "sarina write this," Its rediculous! Then i went to town and bought chris his x-mas present, and went and got my perscriptions. Oh and i checked my fonds, and got a telephone bank thingy, and signed up to get a visa card. Now that im going to San Diego this summer.
When i finally got home for real, i got a dredfull letter from CSN saying that since ive been skipping my distans class ( that i only signed up to so i could get 400 points, so i could get studiebidrag), since november, they can demand the money back. which will be like 2100 kr. WTF? why do they have to care if i skip a class that im going to take off my grades anyways because i'll have to many points! Ugh now where the hell am i supose to get THAT money? and there is no way im telling my parents, they wont understand, all they are going to register in their brain is " sarina skipped her class" ugh, i dunno..we'll see how it goes.
anyways i still cant sleep so.... here is a song..
nvm i dont know how to add youtube videos on here, so if some one knows, please tell me.
Reality Vs Fiction - A battle of the mind.
Today I had to fake my self out of a math test by saying that I had been sick with the stomach flue and was just getting better.
Now, I have never had stomach flue before so i practecly improvised my little "act" for my teacher.
I predicted a stomach flue would make you nauses, stomach pains, feber, tirednes.
So that is what i was faking.
My teacher totally ate every singe lie, and told me to go home and hoped i would get better.
But then something strange happend.
Dont get me wrong, im used to faking that im sick, but this time i faked it so well that my own mind started thinking i was sick.
I got all the symptons that i imagined i would have.
They stayed with me the whole day and now, at middle of the night, i still feel nauses.
I honestly dont know whats real and whats in my mind anymore. It makes me think about how we see life.
Do all the things that we experience inside ourselfs actually happen, or are some things just in our minds?
And if so, are the unnecessary things that we really dont need to feel but yet by habit feel anyways, come from our minds?.
Or is it those important feelings that our minds need to feel to be able to cope with this, oh so complecated life that are the fictional ones?.
I dont know, but this nausea, and cold sweat sure does feel real. What if it is real, and im just refusing to believe my bodies signals.
Im entirely caputred in this limbo between reality and fiction, i have been all my life, does that make my life harder, or easier?
Now, I have never had stomach flue before so i practecly improvised my little "act" for my teacher.
I predicted a stomach flue would make you nauses, stomach pains, feber, tirednes.
So that is what i was faking.
My teacher totally ate every singe lie, and told me to go home and hoped i would get better.
But then something strange happend.
Dont get me wrong, im used to faking that im sick, but this time i faked it so well that my own mind started thinking i was sick.
I got all the symptons that i imagined i would have.
They stayed with me the whole day and now, at middle of the night, i still feel nauses.
I honestly dont know whats real and whats in my mind anymore. It makes me think about how we see life.
Do all the things that we experience inside ourselfs actually happen, or are some things just in our minds?
And if so, are the unnecessary things that we really dont need to feel but yet by habit feel anyways, come from our minds?.
Or is it those important feelings that our minds need to feel to be able to cope with this, oh so complecated life that are the fictional ones?.
I dont know, but this nausea, and cold sweat sure does feel real. What if it is real, and im just refusing to believe my bodies signals.
Im entirely caputred in this limbo between reality and fiction, i have been all my life, does that make my life harder, or easier?