A hint of ye old depression
Today was bad, Really bad. I feel...clotted, slugish, both in mind and body. I wonder why things like this happen to me.
I have done absolutley nothing today, just sat on the floor, or laid in my bed, with the TV constantly on, irregardless to if i was watching it or not. Felt like i was in this never ending spiral, just in my head.
Today was lonley, My biggest accomplishment is not speaking one single word out loud. Not that i want to, just that i dont have to. there has been no one to talk to.
Im sitting here with my window open, the cold feels nice against my skin. -I hope i dont get sick
I dont like days like these, i thought i was a good enough person, helping people out whenever they need it, not to have these days come to me. Whats going on karma?
I have done absolutley nothing today, just sat on the floor, or laid in my bed, with the TV constantly on, irregardless to if i was watching it or not. Felt like i was in this never ending spiral, just in my head.
Today was lonley, My biggest accomplishment is not speaking one single word out loud. Not that i want to, just that i dont have to. there has been no one to talk to.
Im sitting here with my window open, the cold feels nice against my skin. -I hope i dont get sick
I dont like days like these, i thought i was a good enough person, helping people out whenever they need it, not to have these days come to me. Whats going on karma?
Directions
I have been thinking latley where my blog is going. It started out with me just lashing out my inner thoughts because i wasnt feeling good. That was back in 2006. Then i started writing poems and philosofical views about life. That was back when i really picked my brain and had many thoughts that i couldnt really grasp on. Then i started writing about what i was doing, just so you guys could keep on eye on me. I think at one point i even food blogged. Then i went on my california trips and blogged about them and posted pictures. And now, i just blogg because i feel guilty that i dont.
I dont know where i want this to go. what i want to do. But i guess thats whats so convenient about blogs, -You can do what the hell you want!
Im suprised how easily i say yes to helping people out, Whenever someone asks me a favor i almost immediately say yes. Even if its not in my convenience. I give people rides, I go to town and run their errands, I talk to other people for them, its like i cant say no to helping people. Now im not saying this is bothering me,I enjoy making people happy, or making one part of their life a little easier. im just having a self-revelation moment. I guess if i believe in karma, which I do, im supposingly going to get something back out of it.
well im off to town to banana moon because fredrik left some movies there and he doesnt have time to pick up the money for them because he has to work. so he asked me to do it for him. they close at 18.00 so i have to be there before that. And then i have to pick up my dad from the train staition at 18.30. either i can pick up the money and then go home and then go back to town againg, or wait in my car for 30+ min. hmm...what a conundrum
I dont know where i want this to go. what i want to do. But i guess thats whats so convenient about blogs, -You can do what the hell you want!
Im suprised how easily i say yes to helping people out, Whenever someone asks me a favor i almost immediately say yes. Even if its not in my convenience. I give people rides, I go to town and run their errands, I talk to other people for them, its like i cant say no to helping people. Now im not saying this is bothering me,I enjoy making people happy, or making one part of their life a little easier. im just having a self-revelation moment. I guess if i believe in karma, which I do, im supposingly going to get something back out of it.
well im off to town to banana moon because fredrik left some movies there and he doesnt have time to pick up the money for them because he has to work. so he asked me to do it for him. they close at 18.00 so i have to be there before that. And then i have to pick up my dad from the train staition at 18.30. either i can pick up the money and then go home and then go back to town againg, or wait in my car for 30+ min. hmm...what a conundrum
I Want To Escape Reality!
I just want to enhance my life experience with some kind of substance. My life is so fucking boring right now. There is nothing fun to do. No one fun to do it with. I need help from the chemicals in my brain. Just fucking tripp out!!
get me out of this reality and into the magical one!
I want to see colors!
I want full force seratonin! Complete and utter bliss!
I want a whole new world infron of my eyes!
Im just so fucking bored of my everyday life!
I WANT more! I CRAVE more! I NEED more!
-Just let me escape this dull reality i live in, just for one night, please
get me out of this reality and into the magical one!
I want to see colors!
I want full force seratonin! Complete and utter bliss!
I want a whole new world infron of my eyes!
Im just so fucking bored of my everyday life!
I WANT more! I CRAVE more! I NEED more!
-Just let me escape this dull reality i live in, just for one night, please
Hello!
I guess im pretty blog-active.....NAAAT. sorry haha. but honesty not alot is going on in my life.
I spent the last hour re-designing my blogg, what do you think? i made the header all by my self! -proud smile
Whats going on in my life.
Saturday i drank, it was an okey night, mostly because i got to try out some new shuffle moves on the dancefloor. But it just goes to show, i probebly have more fun when im sober.
I want to play the game- I want to find someone that knows how to play the game, i miss the game, its fun and exciting. But not alot of people know how to. they just go along with whatever the other person does. that no fun!
I need to get out more and meet new people, because i know there is SOMEONE out there that knows how to play and is also dying to have some fun ;) - preferably someone hot! ;)
here's a picture of my tatoo
I spent the last hour re-designing my blogg, what do you think? i made the header all by my self! -proud smile
Whats going on in my life.
- I wake up at 8 am and go to bed around 10-11 pm
- i just got my period, YAAY - all my wories are gone.
- Im craving chocolate cake!!
- Tonight i have my cross cultural rethorics class =)
- I still havent heard back from SDSU
- I still need to send out my resumé to different places
- I dont really have motivation
- I still need to buy a swimming card, i'll do it when the week is over.
Saturday i drank, it was an okey night, mostly because i got to try out some new shuffle moves on the dancefloor. But it just goes to show, i probebly have more fun when im sober.
I want to play the game- I want to find someone that knows how to play the game, i miss the game, its fun and exciting. But not alot of people know how to. they just go along with whatever the other person does. that no fun!
I need to get out more and meet new people, because i know there is SOMEONE out there that knows how to play and is also dying to have some fun ;) - preferably someone hot! ;)
here's a picture of my tatoo
Thanx for checking back, even though i havent updated in forever. But you know i cant stay away from my blogg for too long ;)